"It doesn't matter who you are we all suffer from our own insecurities" Eva
Why I retired from Figure competitions?
To be judged or not to be judged,
I loved competing on stage the feeling of dedication, commitment and countless hours of hard work and training made me feel euphoric.
I started in 2000 after little Miss Tyla was born and I competed till 2009 - It was like baby then competition's-I did that with both girls-but my perception on perfection(Figure/body building) changed after Harley was born in 2010.
There was a time when it mattered more to me on how I looked, how symmetrical I could make my body how lean I could be in comparison to fellow competitors. When I won I felt invincible, when I was runner up or second runner up I would run back to the gym and chisel away at my body day after day with dedication and a diet that was lack lustre to any social life I had. I was bound to my duty to perfect my body-It wasn't about fitness it was about having the best physique in the INBA and ANB federations. I fared quite well in both federations numerous wins in State and National titles matched up with many seconds and thirds in which I hated to remind myself off.
I endured such a loss in 2009 which haunts me to this day, the world changed then and so did my need to get on stage and let others judge me.
My own insecurities kept me going back for more and more judgement, I wanted to be better each time not for the fun of it or to be better then me but to be better then everyone else, I recall picking up a magazine and reading a judges comments on my "skinny" legs-well imagine the OCD I developed in the gym to perfect my chicken legs. I was killing my self physiologically in my quest for perfection.
I opted out and when I said "no more" I looked at myself up and down in the mirror and nodded and smiled at myself and realised that I was happy with the Eva that was straining back at me, I was happy being a mum and wife, my training now revolved on me being the best I could be physically without the emotional roll-a coaster of perfection.
No more would I stand on stage in front of the judges to be told I wasn't "the best".
The day I changed paths and found a road with the same feeling of dedication,commitment and hard work-I then became the fitter, faster, stronger but most of all physiologically sound and stronger Eva Clarke.
Any fitness dream is worth following-I respect anyone who chooses to compete and I wish them all the success in the world.
The way I look at it is I am who I am today because of my dedication to fitness all genres of fitness, I hold no regrets of ever competing it created me, every path we take in our lives gets us stronger we live and learn from all chapters in our story book which is Life!
HUA to Bodybuilders, HUA to anyone that trains for fitness, HUA to anyone that trains for fun, HUA to cross-fitters,HUA to Les mills followers, HUA to life and HUA to me!
I am finally at peace with the Eva Clarke I am today..
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one."
These views are mine alone, my opinions, my experiences and don't get me wrong I love all my Figure photo's and am super proud of my acheivments-Hey they are awesome, but….. I hope that my experience can help anyone who feels they are battling themselves for the wrong campaign ! RESPECT - HUA
Why I retired from Figure competitions?
To be judged or not to be judged,
I loved competing on stage the feeling of dedication, commitment and countless hours of hard work and training made me feel euphoric.
I started in 2000 after little Miss Tyla was born and I competed till 2009 - It was like baby then competition's-I did that with both girls-but my perception on perfection(Figure/body building) changed after Harley was born in 2010.
There was a time when it mattered more to me on how I looked, how symmetrical I could make my body how lean I could be in comparison to fellow competitors. When I won I felt invincible, when I was runner up or second runner up I would run back to the gym and chisel away at my body day after day with dedication and a diet that was lack lustre to any social life I had. I was bound to my duty to perfect my body-It wasn't about fitness it was about having the best physique in the INBA and ANB federations. I fared quite well in both federations numerous wins in State and National titles matched up with many seconds and thirds in which I hated to remind myself off.
I endured such a loss in 2009 which haunts me to this day, the world changed then and so did my need to get on stage and let others judge me.
My own insecurities kept me going back for more and more judgement, I wanted to be better each time not for the fun of it or to be better then me but to be better then everyone else, I recall picking up a magazine and reading a judges comments on my "skinny" legs-well imagine the OCD I developed in the gym to perfect my chicken legs. I was killing my self physiologically in my quest for perfection.
I opted out and when I said "no more" I looked at myself up and down in the mirror and nodded and smiled at myself and realised that I was happy with the Eva that was straining back at me, I was happy being a mum and wife, my training now revolved on me being the best I could be physically without the emotional roll-a coaster of perfection.
No more would I stand on stage in front of the judges to be told I wasn't "the best".
The day I changed paths and found a road with the same feeling of dedication,commitment and hard work-I then became the fitter, faster, stronger but most of all physiologically sound and stronger Eva Clarke.
Any fitness dream is worth following-I respect anyone who chooses to compete and I wish them all the success in the world.
The way I look at it is I am who I am today because of my dedication to fitness all genres of fitness, I hold no regrets of ever competing it created me, every path we take in our lives gets us stronger we live and learn from all chapters in our story book which is Life!
HUA to Bodybuilders, HUA to anyone that trains for fitness, HUA to anyone that trains for fun, HUA to cross-fitters,HUA to Les mills followers, HUA to life and HUA to me!
I am finally at peace with the Eva Clarke I am today..
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one."
These views are mine alone, my opinions, my experiences and don't get me wrong I love all my Figure photo's and am super proud of my acheivments-Hey they are awesome, but….. I hope that my experience can help anyone who feels they are battling themselves for the wrong campaign ! RESPECT - HUA
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